Hey Queens! I hope everyone had a great and restful weekend, as we head into this new week, I’m focusing on “letting go.” I tend to wait and hold on to situations way past their due date because I’m afraid of change. I’ve put my life on hold for years because I’m afraid of what’s on the other side of my dreams. My fear of “letting go” has caused nothing but headache, heartache, and stress because when the situation “let me go” it was normally in a horrific and painful way. This year, I’m weeding out my “emotional attic” and throwing out some relationships and grudges that I’ve been struggling to let go of for years. The task is arduous, but so necessary for mental my wellness. I had to let a close family member go recently, and I’m still reeling from it. I’ve tried my best over the last few years to get to a place where we could co-exist without conflict, and as much I as poured into the situation, I always feel drained and unloved. I don’t think I’ll ever stop interacting with him, but my expectations has changed. I’ve slowly come to the realization that when respect and honesty are no longer present, expectations must change and I’m not a mean or cruel person because I have to look out for myself. Now, I’m not telling you that you should chop people off completely, I believe in working with people, but just not at the expense of my happiness and emotional well-being.
A few months ago, I had first hand experience that dealing with people who don’t see the humanity in your or who treat you cruelly is a perfect recipe for a complete breakdown. I was in a crazy situation last summer where I was living with people who I despised. Everyday was hell and the evidence of that was on how haywire my skin, waistline and moods were. I was making myself sick by staying in a place that was no longer peaceful. I used to time the moments that I would leave the house and tip-toe around, just so that I could avoid any face-to face interaction. One day, I said “enough” and I got my stuff and I left. I was scared, I wasn’t sure if the new situation would be better but I knew that the longer I stayed in my present situation, I was basically welcoming the abuse. Now looking back it was such a good decision. I never knew that peace was so expensive and my heart and mind started to heal immediately.
What are you holding on to? What are you afraid to let go of? Is it a relationship, a bad job, a old friend, your church or the guilt of your past? Today is the day that we face it and acknowledge that even though we’re not ready to completely let go, we know that somethings has to change for our betterment.